Women On Top...........

Today, I thought i would pen down my thoughts about "how to manipulate a man", However after about one and half hour of brainstorming, i got only one answer, which is a universal truth, least controversial, highly acclaimed and broadly accepted and that answer is "just give him s*x". That's when i decided to write "how to manipulate a women".

I know it will be difficult task. I might fail to deliver (expected, isn’t it? On which planet do men deliver?)…please bear with me. After all,the first question ‘what women want’ still remains unanswered.

A Women needs security. She has two issues to sort before she is even willing to let you get close enough so you can attempt a manipulation.

1) Is she feeling safe with you?

2) Is she feeling safe from the World when she is with you?

Remember, this is why a woman never falls in love at first sight. coz One doesn’t get to know the bank balance at first sight.

If your answer to the above two questions is ‘Yes’ you are my star and you have every
right to continue reading this article. Other men may pick up the latest PlayBoy and head to their favorite corner.

What politicians are to the citizens of a democracy, men are to the women. We never vote for the best politician (for there aren’t any) …we always end up voting for the least corrupt. Similarly, women are forced to choose the one who is the least likely to mess up their lives – which is anyway going around and around in cycles. It is this need for security and the ability to compromise, that makes a woman prefer the guy who offered to pay the bill, though he took her to a cheap restaurant. Never walk into the restaurant and say magnanimously: “We will go Dutch…but I will take care of the tip myself.” This just might tip the scales in favour of the guy she had been keeping aside as Plan B.

But taking her to a restaurant and paying the bill might NOT make her trust you. She might start thinking, “This guy takes me to a restaurant, and pays for my dinner. Something is definitely fishy.” and she would make sure that she meets you "only in a restaurant" and your dream about "kamre ka judaag ho gaya" will be shattered.

If she wasn’t already on guard with you, this act of yours will put her on guard. You might not be able to read her mind, but she can read 100s of intentions & combinations into your single smile.

Mind you, women are always on guard …which helps them in their search for ‘security’. It is as if they see these women cell boards like, call 1091, naarion awaz uthao etc. In a way, we men have made the women such experts in sensing the dangers nearby.

Not wanting to be left behind,even the Indian Navy has decided to give up its gender bias and plans to use a woman’s seventh sense…there will be a woman in every sea-going submarine.
This woman will have to look out for dangers under the sea. Navy has SONAR etc….but
apparently they aren’t as effective. The bill hasn’t been passed in the Parliament
yet…our MPs are debating over the Indian Navy’s suggestion that the woman be tied to
the nose of the submarine.

Anyway once you have won over her confidence (if you ever can)…and made her feel safe with you and from the World, when she is with you…she is "ready to be manipulated".

My dear men (women, you still reading?)…there are two things you need to know about a
woman:

1) Women have the inherent need to know everything (who, what, why, when, whome, whose, and really???????????????)

2) Women love to be flattered. (who does'nt and it shows that they are normal)


Women have this inner need to know everything about the man they are interested in or
have ended up marrying. Talk to her…not just about cricket scores or the latest
youtube video you saw on the net. Talk to her about what you did in office, what you
eat for lunch, what you spoke of when you met your colleagues in the loo, what you
were thinking while driving your car back from office, what her mother in law thinks
of her, what her sister in law said about her…just about every possible thing on the planet, except any other love rather lust interest of yours.

On the Flattery front, here are a few stock sentences that you can use to flatter her
and once she is flattered, you can manipulate the hell out of her. Remember, you are
dealing with a person with a seventh sense for security…so be careful.

1) Are you dieting? Or is it the gym? You are definitely losing weight

2) Where did you get that skirt? Goes really well with those shoes.

3) Did you do something to your hair today? I am seeing something extra.

4) I was walking just behind you…and guess what, when you walked past that bus
stop…all the men fainted.

5) You have such nice skin, i always feel like touchin you.

There are certain things you should never tell a woman. Even if it sounds ok to you,
as a man. Sentences like:

1) If I were only half as good looking as you are…I would be my company’s CEO.

2) You have such nice skin. Wish I had that too….damn these rashes!

3) Where did you get that skirt? Would love to see them crushed on the floor.

4) What deo do you use? I was walking just behind you and when you walked past that
bus stop…all the men fainted.

5) Did you do something to your hair today? I am an extra dosage on your shirt today.

While you try these out on the women in your lives, let me do the same. With some
luck, I just might succeed.

And one more thing before i take your leave, there should be "no women on top" and only "the man should be on top" as it just sounds erotic, but in real life.....it sucks...

cheers........